Families Again
Families Again
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Families Again
Saturday, 2 January 2010
Dealing With Aging Parents
Mood:  not sure
Topic: Family

Mom, the kids and me in September of '09.



I remember when I was young. I thought that my parents would be around forever. I remember thinking that I hope I die before my parents do because I didn't think that I would be able to cope if something happened to them. Then I became independent, and later I married. Still, though, I planned on my parents living way up until their nineties. I wanted them to be around to watch my children grow up.

Then, my dad died at the age of 77 a month after 9/11. My life wouldn't be the same again. It's funny how you dream of doing things with your kids that you did when you were younger. I dreamed of going on vacations that included my whole family - my mom and my dad, my brother and sister-in-law, my sister and her family. I soon realized that I couldn't relive the memories that I had as a youth. I would have to create new memories with my wife and children.

A few years later, my brother-in-law passed away and then, a year later, my brother. At about that same time, my mother had a stroke while visiting my sister and is now in a nursing home in NJ. Now three people that I remember being around all of my life were gone (I'm the youngest and my sister got married when I was six) and one was in a nursing home - all within the span of six years. 

Now some of our memories consist of visiting my sister, my nephew and my mom two or three times a year. We are presently on one of those trips. Yesterday I went to see my mom. We had just been to visit a few months back and mom seemed OK. I have spoken to her a few times since, and my sister keeps me updated as to how mom is doing, but I wasn't expecting what happened. When I walked in and sat down beside her, she seemed pleasant, but I could tell something wasn't right. As our time together progressed, I realized what it was. She didn't recognize me. I talked of the kids and our trip up, but she didn't know who I was.

Later, I asked if she had been reading. She had always been an avid reader, but there was no book sitting beside her bed. I found some books in a drawer, pulled one out and set it on her nightstand. I turned to talk with her room mate, and to my surprise, when I turned back around Mom was reading the book. My excitement waned, though, when I saw that she was reading page 75. There was no way that she could have gotten there that quickly. I asked her what it was about she smiled and said "Oh, you would like it.". When I pressed her again she looked at the title and said "It's about Patricia". Patricia was the name of the book. 

Tomorrow we are all going to visit. We'll see if she recognizes the whole family. Carol sees her several times a week, and to her the changes may be slight, but to me, at least on that day, they were very evident. 

I thank God for my parents, and the years that I had with Dad and still have with Mom. But, it is still hard when you watch your parent age. Mom is now 88 years old. It is difficult to imagine not having her around, but it is becoming very apparent that the time will come. Perhaps having Mom not present mentally is God's way of preparing me for not having her here physically. I think I am prepared for it now, but maybe you never really are. Time will tell.

Thank you, Lord, for my mother. Please be with her while she is on earth just as I know you will be with her in Heaven. Thank you for the time on earth that I have had with my parents. I thank you for the lessons that they taught to me and the legacy that they have left for me. Please prepare my heart and mind for the day that you will choose to take my mother home to be with you. I know that when you do, she will be free from pain, free from mental loss, she will be perfect and whole. Thank you for providing a way that we can someday live in Heaven with you. 


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Posted by tink38570 at 10:06 PM CST
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Sunday, 3 January 2010 - 3:00 PM CST

Name: "Traci"
Home Page: http://www.theblondeknitter.blogspot.com

I can't imagine how tough it is going through something like this. I pray the Lord's peace over you and your family during this time. 

Thanks for stopping by. 


Sunday, 3 January 2010 - 4:15 PM CST

Name: "Penny"
Home Page: http://www.notnewtoautism.blogspot.com

Tim, I understand.  I didn't get to go home over the holidays to see my parents.  My dad has a degenerative muscle disease and the loss of strength is very visible to me when I see him and my mom just three or four times a year.  His body is failing, not his mind.  You don't want either to happen to a loved one. 

Sunday, 3 January 2010 - 10:23 PM CST

Name: tink38570
Home Page: http://tink38570.angelfire.com


Thanks for your kind comments and your prayers. It has been difficult but God has been with us all through our journey.

I did enjoy your blog very much, even thought the only knitting I've ever done is with one of those nifty loom things that you buy at Wal-Mart Smile.


Sunday, 3 January 2010 - 10:27 PM CST

Name: tink38570
Home Page: http://tink38570.angelfire.com


Thanks for being the ever faithful encourager and supporter not only in "Crew" stuff but in my life in general. God really knew what He was doing when He prompted me to apply with TOS. It not only has blessed our family with homeschool items, but blessed us with life long friends as well. I pray that you will be able to visit with your family soon.


Monday, 4 January 2010 - 2:27 AM CST

Name: "Tania @ Larger Family Life"
Home Page: http://www.largerfamilylife.com

What a touching post.  We're going through the process of watching my father in law deteriorate.  He is in hospital after having his second leg amputated last week.  We don't know just how sick he is.  May the Lord comfort you all through this time.

Monday, 4 January 2010 - 9:25 AM CST

Name: tink38570
Home Page: http://tink38570.angelfire.com

Thanks, Tania, for your prayers. I will be praying for you during your difficult time as well. Watching a parent age is very difficult. I know that it is all part of life, but it doesn't make it any easier.


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