While thinking of a title for this post, I was reminded of one of my favorite Christian singers from the 80's - Steve Taylor. Taylor used to sing a song called "Meltdown at Madame Tussauds" about a janitor at the famous wax museum leaving the heat on overnight. The song talked about all of the wax figures melting. Whether they were good or bad people, they all went down the same drain. It was a representation of all of our lives. Whether we have led good lives or bad ones, we will all someday die and have to face the Lord. If we have believed that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and ask him to be our Saviour, then we have nothing to worry about. Taylor often used representations from real life to push a point. Often like Jesus using an earthly story with a heavenly meaning - a Parable.
Often, however, the Tinkel family experiences a meltdown of a different kind when Joshua becomes frustrated. Joshua is our Asperger's Syndrome child. Asperger's is on the autism spectrum. Aspy's often have a hard time in social situations. They don't understand body language or voice inflections. They become very frustrated if something happens that they weren't expecting or that throw what they were expecting "off kilter". They really need to be on a schedule and need to know what's going to happen next. They often have sensory issues as well. Joshua for one, has very strong tastes. He doesn't take his medication with something like jelly or syrup, he takes it with mustard or barbecue sauce. Frequently we have to tell him to turn the TV down when he is watching a video. It's not that he can't hear, it's because he has such acute hearing, that he needs to turn his TV up to drown out the noises around him. He is definitely a child that marches to his own beat. Unfortunately, if anything disrupts that beat he can be thrown into a fit that looks like a spoiled child's temper tantrum. It's not a tantrum, though. It is caused because of sensory overload. He really can't control it. We call them meltdowns.
He had such a meltdown the other night. We had been invited to a birthday party at the city pool. The people had rented the pool for two hours to celebrate their son and daughter's July birthdays. Unfortunately, we had an unforeseen emergency, and arrived an hour late. Joshua had fun for about 45 min. until they called everyone out for cake. In all of the excitement, I forgot to give him a time warning. Usually when he is involved doing something fun, I will give him a 15 min. warning, then a 10 min. and 5 min. warning. But this time I forgot. When he went to get back into the pool, he was told that another party had rented the pool and we had to leave. That's when the meltdown started. And it was a major one! First he jumped into the kiddie, 2 foot deep pool, and I had to jump in to get him out. Then, he grabbed onto everything he could to keep from having to leave. I had to pull his arms from around a post, pry his fingers from the fence, all with him kicking and screaming the entire way through the crowded parking lot and to the car. And of course, everyone had to turn and look at the bratty child that was making all of the commotion. Only it wasn't a bratty fit. I knew that, but they didn't, and many snide comments were heard.
We wouldn't trade our children for anything, but sometimes life is so frustrating. Especially when people don't understand what you are going through. They think it's just bad parenting or that the child "just needs a good spanking". If they only knew all of the many discipline techniques that we had tried pre-diagnosis.
Since his diagnosis, Joshua has had many more good days than bad. We are learning how to handle him, and what to do to prevent these meltdowns. He is learning how to control his meltdowns and read social cues. But, there are still the bad days. The days when you feel alone. The days that you feel like no one understands. Those are the days when we have to look to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He understands. He knows our pain. He will sustain us! He knew all about Joshua and has special plans for him. We are just here to be His instruments.
Thank you, Lord, for giving us Joshua. Please help us to continue learning how to help him and to teach him to be more like you. Please continue using us as your instruments to prepare him for the great works you have for him to do.
Bend of the River Places 9th (Ninth)!!! Mood: special Topic: The Kids
That's right! We placed 9th out of 42 teams! The team's goal was to make the top 10 and they did it. It was nip and tuck until the very end. They always post the shooting scores soon after that position ends, but they save the test scores until about two hours before the closing ceremonies. After the test on Saturday, the kids were pretty disappointed because they didn't think that they had done a good job. It ends up that they did an excellent job and they placed one position better than they did two years ago. Congratulations Team!
John Allen had his best meet ever. His coach, Megan, had set a high end goal for him to score a 440 out of a possible 500 points. Well, believe it or not, he made a 440! He was a little dejected that he hadn't scored his goal of 450 (a very lofty goal for him) but then I pointed out that he beat every person's score that was on last years team but one (one boy scored a 446 last year), he was encouraged. That's how much better this year's team was compared to last year's team. Of course last years team was very young compared to this years experienced group. Daisy, who sponsors the event, has made a rule that if you are on a regular team at internationals, then you can't go back the next year. An alternate can, but not someone who was one of the top five shooters who's points counted for the total. John Allen has gone as an alternate the past two years, and is expecting to be on the regular team next year. We will post pictures soon!
For those of you who were praying for Joshua, he did great. No meltdowns at all! Your prayers were definitely felt. Jacob had a great trip as well. Still afraid of the water a little, but is taking more chances! Thanks for all of your prayers!
The Family that Shoots Together... Topic: The Kids
You've heard the saying "The family that prays together stays together". Well, what about "The family that shoots together..." - boots together?, hoots together?, roots together? Oh well, nothing seems to fit but, yes, someone other than John Allen is now shooting. Joshua has taken up the sport as well.
With everything going on with Joshua, I haven't talked much about John Allen so here goes. When John Allen was 15 months old, he was diagnosed with retinoblastoma, a rare childhood eye cancer. Thanks be to God all was taken care of by enucleating (removing) his left eye. I say thanks, because as of 40 years ago, many of these children died. I also say thanks, because John Allen didn't have to endure chemotherapy, radiation, or anything like that. He has had to go through many, many Drs. visits, MRI's, and he is now on his third artificial eye. God worked many miracles during this time that I will someday post in another entry, but, because he is blind in his left eye, he has had problems playing many sports. Basketball and baseball were a mess. He has done better with soccer and flag football but his big sport has been shooting.
When John Allen was 9 years old, we started going to the "Bend of the River" shooting facility so he could shoot competitive BB guns. Now, mind you, these BB gun teams aren't just backyard Daisy BB gun groups. The guns they use cost over $100 and the competitions are serious business. The next step after BB guns is air rifles. Air rifle shooting is an Olympic sport and you can earn college scholarships for shooting.
Every Saturday morning we go to this quaint, wooden (almost log cabinish) building (pictured above) with big porches outside and a fireplace with rocking chairs inside. But, although it may be quaint looking, shooting practice is all business. You walk in and are immediately greeted by Mary Jane. Mary Jane is a retired school librarian and the official test prep person. Part of all BB gun competitions is the test. The kids take a true or false test on gun safety, competition rules, and parts of the gun. Out of the 500 points that a competitor can get during a competition, this is an easy 100 points, and our kids are expected to get a 100. Mary Jane is a no nonsense person but has a big heart. She is good at drilling those kids in many different ways so that they know (or at least should know) the rules forwards and backwards.
When your relay (shooting group) is called, you get ready to shoot. Getting up to the shooting line is an experience in itself. You have to make sure you have your targets ready, your goggles on, and your gun and sling in hand. When you finally get to the line, you have your own shooting coach. The shooting coaches are experienced parents or volunteers who know how to shoot, and help the child with his shooting position, breath control, aim, and follow through, and then spot, with binoculars, where the BB hit. You alternate between Mary Jane and shooting until you have shot all four positions - prone (on your belly), sitting, kneeling and standing. Everything is under the watchful eye of Megan, the official coach, and Charlie, the "Bend of the River" owner.
This year there are about 25 kids on the team. All kids go to the pre-state and state match but only the top 7 (five regular and two alternates) are chosen to go to the international match in Bowling Green, KY at Western Kentucky University. Last year, John Allen was chosen for the international team as an alternate. It was a real experience. Even if you are an alternate, you get to shoot. John Allen got to see some fantastic shooting, and he met his pre-match goal to have a combined score of over 400 out of a 500 possible score. The official photographer of the match has all of his pictures posted on shutterfly. John Allen is shown in the team picture (third from left), taking the test (he's in the front row - second from right), and shooting the kneeling position. The international team was really young last year, most of them had never been to the international competition, and the team didn't place. The 2007 group was great - they placed 10th but, unfortunately, you have to skip a year before you can go back if you are not an alternate. John Allen is eligible this year, again, since he was only an alternate last year, but there is some stiff competition again this year, so we will have to see.
One person who is after one of the coveted international team spots is John Allen's own brother, Joshua. Joshua has been tagging along to practices since John Allen began but was never able to shoot because of his age. Well, this year he turned eight so he begged to shoot. I talked to Megan last year about his problems and she said to bring him in and she would work with him. So, last Saturday, the three of us loaded into the car and went to the first practice of the season. The first practice is always an all day practice where, most of the time, you are sitting and learning gun safety. Joshua was pretty attentive for the fist hour and a half, but after that it was a challenge to keep his interest. He was a trooper and kept up the best he could until, FINALLY, it was time to shoot. The first practice you only shoot prone, and Megan personally worked with him. He did great! She said that he had a natural talent but had to be refocused a time or two. Today he did equally as well, but I needed to help him with all of his test practice. Last week, they said that we could wait to see if Joshua would work out before we paid his $50 fee. Well, this week we paid so he is committed to trying it for at least this season. I don't think that he will give John Allen a scare yet, but it's a start!
Shooting has been an excellent experience for John Allen, and so far it seems to be good for Joshua. It has turned out to be a family sport. Last year, we bought John Allen his own competition gun, so we practice regularly at home. If you are interested in shooting, contact either Daisy Outdoor Products or The NRA (National Rifle Association) Happy shooting!
Well, it's official. We got the diagnosis today. Our middle child, Joshua, has Asperger's Disorder. Asperger's Disorder (sometimes called Asperger's Syndrome) is in the autism family or clinically referred to as in the autism spectrum. We have suspected this for a long time, and even hoped that this would be the diagnosis. We have (or maybe I should say he has) struggled for so long, and we have gotten so many opinions and diagnosis that didn't seem right. All of our reading about Aspies (as they are commonly called) seemed to fit Joshua. We were hoping that this was it - finally we would know what it was and how to help him. Well, finally we do know.
It's funny. At first I was relieved. Now, having typed it out, the reality has sunk in and I don't know how I feel. I guess kind of sad. I don't know why. Aspies are generally very bright kids and can function very well in society. Many very successful people are Aspies. Bill Gates is one. They just move to the beat of a different drummer. We just have to recognize that and learn how to teach, discipline, and guide to that beat. Some idiosyncrasies we can allow and just chalk it up to him being made from a different mold. But there are some areas where he is going to have to break out of that mold. Some social behaviors he will have to learn. There are some things that he just doesn't "get". He doesn't read social cues or body language very well and sometimes becomes very frustrated when things don't happen the way he thinks they should happen. Aspies can sometimes seem very selfish, but they aren't trying to be. They just don't understand. It's going to be an interesting path that God has given us to take. Please pray with us and for Joshua as we travel down that path.
I have mentioned just a few characteristics of an Aspie. I'm sure in the days, weeks, years to come, I'll blog about many other things. Until then, I have found a couple of articles about Aspies that you can read if you want to find out more. One is a very short definition and found at www.aspergers.com. Another longer but touching article written by a 48 year old woman who just diagnosed with asperger's is found on the CNN website. (Don't tell anyone that I just linked to CNN. I'll be kicked out of the FOXNEWS fan club!)
Thanks for letting me ramble and being a good listener. Please do pray for us. Remember John Allen, our oldest. This whole thing has been tough on him. Jacob, our two year old, just goes with the flow. Remember Sarah as well. She may seem tough on the outside, but she has a tender mother's heart on the inside. She has shed many tears for her children (and for me as well). Thanks, beforehand, for all of your prayers.
ClickN' Read Phonics - A New Affiliate - Joshua Approved! Topic: The Kids
Many of you know our middle son, Joshua, and are familiar with his disabilities. He has been diagnosed with many things and has recently completed testing for Asperger's Syndrome which is in the autism spectrum. His problems cause many challenges, one of which is learning. Reading, writing, fine motor, it doesn't matter what, Joshua is challenged by it. We are constantly looking for new ways to teach him and to keep his interest. Recently I came across ClickN' Read Phonics. I liked what I saw, but, as you know, the proof is in the pudding. So, I called Joshua in to try out the sample lesson. Now, mind you, this was after his night meds, and right after I had sent him to bed, but the minute Joshua started with the lesson, he was enthralled. Although we had already covered many of the same things, we could never make it all "stick". With ClickN' Read Phonics' review methods and immediate verbal rewards for correct answers, Joshua was retaining what we could never get him to remember before! Then, at the end of the lesson, he was reading the sentences with hardly any stumbling at all! I was so pleased, that I signed up and was accepted for their affiliate program. If you are looking for a unique way to teach or help you kids with phonics, or if you are looking for a phonics review, click on the banner above or on one of the links to the left. Let me know what you think. I don't think you will be disappointed.
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While thinking of a title for this post, I was reminded of one of my favorite Christian singers from the 80's - Steve Taylor. Taylor used to sing a song called "Meltdown at Madame Tussauds" about a janitor at the famous wax museum leaving the heat on overnight. The song talked about all of the wax figures melting. Whether they were good or bad people, they all went down the same drain. It was a representation of all of our lives. Whether we have led good lives or bad ones, we will all someday die and have to face the Lord. If we have believed that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, and ask him to be our Saviour, then we have nothing to worry about. Taylor often used representations from real life to push a point. Often like Jesus using an earthly story with a heavenly meaning - a Parable.
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